Yetis Gone Wild

Long ago, in 1456, big, furry, white snowmonsters called Yetis, roamed freely in the land of Yetisville, (later called Canada). But then, the evil French men came on their boats from France to establish a colony on a new land. When they arrived, they noticed that the Yetis have already made their settlement. Now French people usually would give up and go back to the home land, but one stubborn, French bastard declared war on the helpless Yetis. The Yetis were brutally massacred and were pushed back to live in caves in the north-eastern territory of Yetisville. The French then named the land, Canada. For five and a half years, the Yetis lived with a grudge against the Candians. They breeded, trained, and prepared for a day of victory. Finally, they were ready for combat. They paraded out from their caves and into the civilized towns of Canada, overthrowing the prime minister and establishing their own republic government. 1 year later, they came to an agreement that they prefered living in the caves, rather than where they were. They did not like how screwed up the world is, so they gave Canada back to the Candians and moved back to their caves. The Canadians and Yetis then became friends and lived happily ever after.

Recently, the Sacramento Police Station has recieved multible reports about a group of smuggled, foreign, Australian peacocks. This flock of peacocks are called "The Raping Peacocks Gang". Observers and detectives have brought up a description of them: The raping peacocks is a secret gang of peacocks that run around California to rape innocent victims. They were established in 1986. They uasually attack people with black hair, brown eyes, light skin, and have the name as "Danny". they have been known to be the most vicious gang in California. These peacocks have not been caught yet and are accountable for the raping of 143 people and the death of 7 people. If you by any chance see a group of raping peacocks coming at you, be sure to call: 1-800-HELP-I-AM-BEING-RAPED-BY-THOUSANDS-OF-PEACOCKS-PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE-
HELP-ME-OH-NO-HERE-THEY-COME-AAAHHHHH

Another kid's website

Boy trapped in Janitor's closet; eats own foot

Billy Jenkin a student at Little Oaks Middle School, was playing soccer with his friends, when suddenly, one of his fellow friends kicked the ball into the Janitor's closet, next to the soccer field. Good and humble Billy volunteers to go into the closet and achieve the ball. Once Billy enters the dark room, the door shuts from a gust of wind, locking poor Billy inside. The Janitor, who called in sick for 3 weeks, opened the door to find Billy with a missing foot. Billy has admitted that he ate his foot in order to survive. Billy Jenkin returned home safe to his parents, who thought he was at Chunky Choo Choo's pizzeria the whole time. Billy replaced his foot with an artificial one and now has Gettinglockedinajanetorsclosetphobia. A very rare phobia that few kids have.

Lunatic thinks he's an ostrich

Prince Frederick Wilmington II was the royal heir to the throne in the country of Saudi Arabia. Then, one day, an assassination attempt was made. Frederick was stabbed in the right hemisphere of his brain. Thinking he was dead, the murderer ran off stealing Frederick's secret stash of dildos. Frederick awoke after a 4 week coma, thinking that he was an ostrich. He ran off to be with the wild ostriches several times, but was brought back for hope to regain his sanity. Frederick won't stop acting like a fool. He eats bugs, runs around, and trys to mate with other male ostriches. He is dangerous and still on the run, migrating with his herd of ostriches to other fertile countries, so be aware!

Golfer gets arrested for indecent exposure

Golfer, Rick Smith, ran through a golf tournament, wearing absolutely nothing at all!!! He was one of the contestants, until he was disqualified for burning down a tree on the golf coarse after a squirrel stole his golf ball. "He was so close to getting that ball into the hole..." said Steve Farley, one of the viewers, "Then out of nowhere, a squirrel runs by taking his golf ball and up a tree, Rick couldn't get him, so he burned the damn tree down". Once Rick was disqualified, he interfered through his opponent's game completely naked. Police officers ran after him, but they couldn't catch up with him. So they released the hound dogs. Rick left the coarse in handcuffs and no dick. It will be 2 months until he is released.

Fat kid eats all the food in cafeteria

Billy Stene is a 5th grader at Jerryl Martin Elementry School. On April 14, 2004, he was in a hurry for school and he didn't have time to eat breakfast. During class, before lunch, Billy asked to go to the bathroom. When the teacher said yes, deceitful Billy snuck into the cafeteria, eating everything he could get ahold of, including the nachos every other student ordered for their lunch. Billy then left the cafeteria, full and fat. He went back to class unnoticed. The teacher didn't recognize him at first, but then, Billy confessed what he had done. Astonished, the teacher sent Billy to the office and there he was lectured and charged for all the food he consumed. Billy learned his lesson: Eat only the food you can afford.

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